one million

....is the number of things on my to-do list. If you couldn't already tell from the last post.

I ended by saying "Does this mean I've made it?"

I feel like I had another one of those moments today. Yesterday, I sent a student down to the counselor because she was refusing to do anything on the exam I was giving them (one required by the district). This morning, our counselor told me that she said that she didn't understand what she was supposed to do (I explained it to the class), and that she didn't think that I liked her because I never called on her. Ooohh my the perception of 7th graders is so far off base it is hard to deal with sometimes. First of all----ask me to re-explain it when I come to you and ask what the problem is and why you aren't doing anything. Second of all----I do call on you. Just not every. time. you. raise. your hand. There are other students, my dear.

7th graders are extremely self absorbed---part of it is the entitlement of society today and part of it is just that they are 12 and 13 and pre-teens tend to be self absorbed in general. So, the counselor recommends that in order to have her more comfortable I sit down not one on one with her but also with my CT (she says she likes my CT---DUH!! All she does is sit in the back of the room. I am the one that disciplines, so of course it is harder to like me) But I maintain I would like to chat with her on my own and if that doesn't work then I will do the other. Have to be an advocate for yourself from time to time.

Long story short---the chat seemed to go very well. We cleared the air, she seems to understand that I have to make sure the WHOLE class is learning, not just her. And we have had a nice chat about having a better attitude--stopping the eye rolling, and the pouty tone.

One of my other students is potentially getting expelled. She has been in 3 physical altercations at school, is on a restricted hall pass, and can no longer ride the bus because of fights that have happened on the bus. I have never once referred this girl to the office. We started out with a good relationship. I saw a lot of promise from her. She is a smart girl. She can be quite sweet. However, she is aggressive and does not know when to be quiet. She argues with everyone and it has only gotten worse since she came back from her last suspension. We have butted heads a lot. I treat her the same as every student (no you can't go to your locker because you didn't bring your things to class--I don't let anyone do that). She does not see it that way (again, that 7th grade perception thing).

SO today--I take her work as she is sitting in the office waiting to be picked up. This is as I am picking up 5th hour to bring them back from lunch. One student (also a trouble maker who may not last at this school) asks on the way up if the other student has been expelled. First--not your business. But, I tell her I don't know (which we really don't for sure), but that I was told to take her work. She FLIPS out "you can't expel her!! waa waa waa" I choose to ignore her and simply tell her to turn her voice off. She proceeds to yell to another student (as she's pointing at me) "It's her FAULT that she's getting expelled."

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, my. I love 7th graders. You're right. I, a student teacher, have so much power that I walked into the principal's office and told him he should expel her. I HAVE NEVER EVEN REFERRED HER TO THE OFFICE!! I did my best, actually, to try and keep her in the class and get her turned around.

I am not the one who punched someone yesterday in the middle of the last class of the day. I am not the one who cannot control my temper. I am not the one making poor choices on a daily basis.

But, it's my fault. And I'm willing to accept that. Now there are two people on our team to blame for everything. The science teacher because he is white, Republican, male, and Catholic. And me, because I am a mean, unfair, student teacher that got your friend expelled.

Shape up and shut up and I wouldn't have to continually discipline you. Simple. Done.

I think being called "unfair" means that I've made it. Because that means that I am teaching you to be accountable, to be responsible, and to be an adult. Welcome to the "Real World," life won't give you second, third, fourth, and even fifth chances like we do here.

Back to the TWS---it is eating me alive, but I'm on a role. I won't be sleeping this weekend.